You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
