where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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