at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Shitshow foam night was such a success
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
