omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize