am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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