So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Dear god my vagina.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
