would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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