it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
