Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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