He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
