Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The adults are the big ones right?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
