I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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