Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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