Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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