your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
