So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
