So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
