You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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