allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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