When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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