id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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