when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
we made out on top of his cat.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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