Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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