Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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