I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
