I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
