Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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