I am puke
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
