Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
