My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
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