idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
This house was built for laser tag.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I am naked and annoyed.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
