You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
