What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
