We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize