im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
