So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize