would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
