Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Randomize
