there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i think i just lost a toe
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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