I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
