I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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