And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
