When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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