Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
