where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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