If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
