That's intense
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
