she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
