turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Actions speak louder than pants.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
