: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
