have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
