My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
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I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
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Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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