You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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