He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
