she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
