i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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