Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
she peed on how many people?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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