Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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