Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
