Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I touched a dick in church today
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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